The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

SOME BIOLOGISTS HAVE BEGUN TO FEEL THAT THIS BIODIVERSITY CRISIS -- THIS "SIXTH EXTINCTION" -- IS EVEN MORE SEVERE, AND MORE IMMINENT." -NILES ELDREDGE PhD



"IT'S THE NEXT ANNIHILATION OF VAST NUMBERS OF SPECIES. IT IS HAPPENING NOW" EXPLAINS DR. RICHARD LEAKEY, THE WORLDS MOST FAMOUS PALEOANTHROPOLOGIST.

FROM SPACE IT SEEMS LIKE AN ABSTRACTION, A MAGIICANS TRICK ON A DARKENED STAGE AND FROM THIS DISTANCE ONE MIGHT NEVER IMAGINE THAT IT IS ALIVE. IT FIRST APPEARED IN THE SEA ALMOST FOUR BILLION YEARS AGO IN THE FORM OF SINGLE CELLED LIFE.



IN AN EXPLOSION OF LIFE SPANNING MILLIONS OF YEARS NATURES FIRST MULTICELLULAR ORGANISM BEGAN TO MULTIPLY, AND THEN IT STOPPED.



440 MILLION YEARS AGO A GREAT MASS EXTICNTION WOULD KILL OF NEARLY EVERY SPECIES ON THE PLANET LEAVING THE VAST OCEANS DECIMATED AND EMPTY  SLOWLY PLANTS BEGAN TO EVOLVE, THEN INSECTS ONLY TO BE WIPED OUT IN THE SECOND GREAT MASS EXTINCTION UPON THE EARTH.



THE CYCLE REPEATED AGAIN AND AGAIN, REPTILES EMERGING INDEPEPENDANT FROM THE SEA ONLY TO BE KILLED OFF. THEN DINOSAURS



STRUGGLING TO LIFE ALONG WITH THE FIRST BIRDS, FISH AND FLOWERING PLANTS, THEIR DECIMATION,



EARTHS FOURTH AND FIFTH EXTINCTIONS. ONLY 100 THOUSAND YEARS AGO HOMO SAPIENS APPEARED, MAN. FROM CAVE PAINTINGS TO THE BIBLE



TO COLUMBUS AND APOLLO 11



WE HAVE BEEN A TIRELESS FORCE UPON THE EARTH AND OFF.  CATALOGUING THE NATURAL WORLD AS IT UNFOLDS TO US.

RISING TO A WORLD POPULATION OF OVER 5 BILLION PEOPLE ALL DESCENDED FROM THAT ORIGINAL CELL, THAT FIRST SPARK OF LIFE.

BUT FOR ALL OUR KNOWLEDGE WHAT NO ONE CAN SAY FOR CERTAIN IS WHAT OR WHO IGNITED THAT ORIGINAL SPARK. IS THERE A PLAN OR PURPOSE OR A REASON TO OUR EXISTENCE? WILL WE PASS AS THOSE BEFORE US INTO OBLIVION? INTO THE SIXTHEXTINCTION THAT SCIENTISTS WARN IS ALREADY IN PROGRESS.

Weekly visit the the pyschiatrist, got a new one shes a bitch with a moustache, shes really fucking with my head (at least this ones not trying to fuck me) I went in no niceties this time she felt really hard and cold towards me. And so obviously as i always do i started with my opening lines.

I really don't feel i need to be here, honestly! I have issues and problems i know i do but they're not so big that i need all this. I don't feel that this should even be an issue. Blah blah blah i go onto list accomplishments good times out relationships throw some fake stuff in that i know would sound good etc etc



She didnt say anything, she just bloody stared at me, i could feel my cheeks turning bright red. fidgeting. looking away! She just stared at me for like 10 minutes i'd occassionally blurt out a "sooooo...."

Then she turned around and said you do have problems i'm going to be straight with you. She THEN just blurted off a fucking list past tragedies which im not typing out she was just so clinical like i was myself a problem or hard headed and stubborn which i am but not to that extent what i mean to say is that id be all bitchy and arrogant etc etc. which i REALLY took offence to. SHe doesn't bloody well know me. And the way shes talking and coming across is that shes already made her mind up and i've been categorised. FUCK YOU BITCH!! obviously i didn't say that but i was thinking it, very loudly!

She then read off a list of disorders that i'd been diagnosed with by past psychiatrists (Which i didn't even know i was diagnosed with) the words scarred themself onto my brain. i don't know how i felt other than shocked and somewhat paranoid angry and REALLY pissed off. I think i gave up after that and resolved myself to the fact that i'd be meeting with her for many weeks months hopefully not years to come. I also know that it won't get me anywhere ii'll just decribe in detail with totally clinical detachment what happened and when and how i feel. Its just like reading a story now, line for line only emotion is in actually reading it out. No feelings behind it. And more than likely she'll ask questions which are intrusive that upset me she'll ask me to elaborate i will (somewhat) break down crying and POW! that will be a break through. All this shit pisses me off its so repetitive and never ending like a circle. The best psychiatrist out there for me is myself.

And so what if sometimes i give into depression go a bit emo retreat to a dark room inside my head and wallow in it. I like it i love it its beautiful and tragic and aces. Its not like im constantly in that state im RARELY in that state. And i don't feel aggitated and nervous there i feel calm in the obvious quiet madness. And nobody knows about it because i keep it to myself most of the time.

I don't even know why i'm writing this i'll forget all about it in a week.



Breakdown, break it down, define your life, definition, understand what you mean

Woman:

A woman is an adult female human being, as contrasted to a man, an adult male, and a girl, a female child. The term woman (irregular plural: women) is used to indicate biological sex distinctions, cultural gender role distinctions, or both.



Mourning:

state of sorrow over the death or departure of a loved one

lamentation: the passionate and demonstrative activity of expressing grief

bereaved: sorrowful through loss or deprivation; "bereft of hope"



Anorexia Nervosa:

A psychophysiological disorder characterized by an abnormal fear of becoming obese and therefor a distorted self-image. This results in an unwillingness to eat leading to severe weight loss. It can also be accompanied by vomiting, excessive exercise and other physiological changes.



An eating disorder characterized by severe and prolonged refusal to eat excessive exercise, extreme weight loss, distorted body image, termination of the menstrual cycle or impotence, and intense fear of becoming obese.



Heterosexuality:

A sexual orientation characterized by aesthetic attraction, romantic love, and sexual desire exclusively or almost exclusively for members of the opposite sex.



Homosexuality:

Being attracted to or aroused by members of the same gender.



Alcoholism:

A chronic disorder characterized by dependence on alcohol, repeated excessive use of alcoholic beverages, development of withdrawal symptoms on reducing or ceasing alcohol intake, morbidity that may include cirrhosis of the liver, and decreased ability to function socially and vocationally. Currently believed by many to be a disease with strong genetic links.



Rape:

forced or manipulated nonconsensual sexual contact, including vaginal or anal intercourse, oral sex, or penetration with an object.



Battery:

In common law, battery is the tort of intentionally causing harmful or offensive contact with another person. As distinguished from assault, battery requires an actual contact, not just intent to cause contact.



Assault:

A violent attack of any sort; attempt or threat to do bodily violence to another; to attack violently.



Insomnia:

inability to sleep or to remain asleep throughout the night.



Paranoia:

a disorder characterized by a continuing and unwarranted suspiciousness, mistrust of people, and hypersensitivity. It is not a psychosis but those affected have great difficulty with interpersonal relations. They are quite critical of others but virtually unable to accept criticism.



Obsessive:

a person who has obsessions

obsessional: characterized by or constituting an obsession; "the obsessional character of his response"; "obsessive gambling"



Depression:

a mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity



Borderline:

In psychiatry, borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a personality disorder characterised by extreme 'black and white' thinking, mood swings, emotional reasoning, disrupted relationships and difficulty in functioning in a way society accepts as normal.



Schizoid:

(skiz-oyd): Socially isolated, withdrawn, having few friends and social relationships, resembling the personality features of schizophrenia, but in a less severe form; no loss of touch with reality.

marked by withdrawal and inability to form close relationships



Antisocial:

shunning contact with others; "standoffish and antisocial"; "he's not antisocial; just shy"



Lost:

no longer in your possession or control; unable to be found or recovered;

confused: having lost your bearings; confused as to time or place or personal identity;

spiritually or physically doomed or destroyed;

helpless: unable to function; without help

incapable of being recovered or regained;